Another tree woman puts down roots

There’s a new “tree woman” in Port Elizabeth and this time she is sporting a green polka dot bikini and lying at the bottom of Upper Valley Road, with "Boo!" and "2009" tattooed on her calf and neck.
I imagine she’s related to the “tree woman” who put down roots just off Buffelsfontein near the Walmer Woods golf driving range in 2005.
That one sprang to life when someone with a sense of humour saw the shape of a woman in a fallen tree and decided to paint a bikini on the appropriate body parts. Here is my colleague Mike Holmes's pic of her, to give you an idea of her size. The next thing we heard, someone had daubed on a new pink polka dot bikini.
Then on Valentine’s Day two years ago up popped a “tree man” in red trunks and shortly after that a little sapling and a tree dog completed the family.
Sadly, last year The Herald reported that the tree child and dog had gone missing.
It reminds me of the Gnome Liberation Army abroad, and if you search for them on the internet you’ll discover that there really are people who take this seriously, such as the Free the Gnomes group.

Speaking of which, there is this poor little fellow in Victoria Drive in South End, who really looks the worse for wear, who could do with their services.
He’s lost his nose and one arm and probably hasn’t been painted or paid attention to for years.
So, if you know how to get hold of the mystery tree artist, please ask him or her to sneak up in the middle of the night and work their magic here.