The F-World

Hallo, blogs.theherald.co.za

2009-03-06T06:05:00.000-08:00

Farewell from this address, and hello to the new ...
http://blogs.theherald.co.za/fworld/ is my new blog address, and you'll find the rest of the Herald and Weekend Post blogs at http://blogs.theherald.co.za
See you there!

Changes afoot at The Herald

2009-03-02T06:35:00.000-08:00

Change, they say, is the only constant ... and The Herald and Weekend Post will be changing again next week when they launch their new, and greatly improved, websites.
Part of this involves all the bloggers - there may only be a handful of us but we make a lot of noise!
So ... please bear with me while we figure out how to move The F-World to the new blog platform, as it will be on Word Press later this week and no longer on Blogspot.
I almost feel like I am moving house, having grown very attached to all the gadgets on this one, and I would hate to lose that fascinating posse of followers ... many of whom I also follow.
I'll keep you posted ...

Chocolate and women

2009-02-26T00:12:00.000-08:00

You know, I try hard not to be sexist but sometimes it’s hard. Last week two young reps from Lindt chocolate popped into The Herald office to deliver a full to bursting two boxes of individually wrapped chocolate treats.
Although I was really tempted to take them home, very quietly, my conscience did win out and so the boxes were trawled around the office, stretching from editorial to the library, marketing department and even the switchboard ladies on the top floor.
The reaction to free chocolate was such an eye opener ... every single female said yes, thanks, and mostly with a glint in their eye and an outstretched palm. It was like offering Viagra to Hugh Hefner.
By comparison, the guys were so abstemious, you would have thought they did not actually like chocolate. Most men only wanted one piece, not more, and one or two even turned down the offer.
TURNED IT DOWN! Have you ever heard of such a thing? Very weird. Perhaps I hit a frivolous yet universal truth in my profile.
We are not talking crummy chocolate here ... Lindt chocolate is the 500-thread count of chocolates. Once you have tasted Lindt, you don’t really want Cadbury’s, and Beacon, pish-pah, goodness gracious, you may as well keep that for cooking.
These guys are the same species as the creatures we sleep next to at night and whom we trust with the fatherhood of our children ... they say men don’t understand women, but, truth be told, I think I don’t understand men.

What do you fill your life with?

2009-02-25T05:14:00.000-08:00

Generally I enjoy Wednesdays, because it's when La Femme hits the streets and we catch our breath before plunging into the next edition. Sometimes, though Wednesday hits me with a sickening thud (like today) and that's when I really need to find something positive to focus on.

The story of the mayonnaise jar below does the trick. I can't claim it's mine, or that it is new, and it has been sent to me on more than one occasion so I may even have used it in La Femme as a Femme Point ... anyway, it goes like this:

A professor stands before his philosophy class and, wordlessly, picks up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and fills it with golf balls. He then asks his students if the jar is full. They agree it is.

The professor then picks up a box of pebbles and pours them into the jar. He shakes the jar lightly and the pebbles roll into the open areas between the golf balls. He asks again if the jar is full. The students agree it is.

The professor next picks up a box of sand and pours this into the jar. Of course, the sand fills up everything else. He asks once more if the jar is full. The students respond with an unanimous “yes”.

The professor then produces two cups of coffee from under the table and pours the contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laugh.

“Now,” explains the professor, “I want you to recognise that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things – God, family, children, health, friends, and favourite passions – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

“The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else – the small stuff.

“If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you so pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

“Play with your children. Take time to get medical check-ups. Take your partner out to dinner. There will always be time to clean the house. Take care of the golf balls first. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raises her hand and inquires what the coffee represents. The professor smiles.

“I’m glad you asked. I added that to show you that no matter how full your life may seem there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

Slumdog Millionaire a winner

2009-02-24T05:33:00.001-08:00

I love February in Port Elizabeth as all the cinema complexes show the Oscar contenders that normally blow right through the Windy City. Those that do stay only lurk for a week normally so if you snooze, you lose.

However, when a film wins an Academy Award, they usually stay for a bit longer and I am so looking forward to seeing the film version of Q&A, which won South Africa’s Boeke prize in 2007. This quirky paperback about a destitute street-kid in Mumbai certainly was one of my favourite books from that year.

The Indian author, Vikas Swarup, who is his country’s deputy high commissioner to South Africa, went on to write Six Suspects and he still is living here.

“I wanted to show that knowledge is not the preserve of the educated elite and that even a 'street-kid' can possess the wisdom to win a quiz show,” said Swarup in an interview about what inspired him to write Q&A.

That is just so relevant in South Africa, where we also have so many street kids and a huge divide between rich and poor.

The photos I’ve posted are of Rubiana Ali, the actress who portrayed young "Latika" and Freida Pinto, who plays her as an adult. Funnily enough, none of the cast won an Academy Award.

The second photograph is of Rubiana’s neighbours in Mumbai shown celebrating after they heard of the film’s Oscar success.

The novel had its detractors who called it contrived and unrealistic. I found it funny, though, tender and tragic and a thoroughly engrossing read. Now with eight Oscars, I can hardly wait to see Slumdog Millionaire ...

What do our pets do all day?

2009-02-18T03:08:00.001-08:00

I discovered that I was not alone in wondering what our pets get up to when we are not at home, (see Cooper the camera cat )
Jeanne commented: 'Can there be a cat owner alive who hasn't at some point wondered "where the hell do you go all day, Tiddles?" ' and now someone else has e-mailed me this video clip.
I am not sure where it comes from but apparently, whenever the owners of this house, which you can see has a swimming pool, came home, they found puddles of water all around.
They believed that the neighbours’ kids waited till they went out to take a dip so they installed a camera and this is what they saw:

Mystery solved ...

Cooper the camera-cat

2009-02-16T05:39:00.000-08:00

We have the friskiest, liveliest, cutest ginger tom cat in the world ... or so I thought until I heard about Cooper, an artistic three-year-old living in Seattle. Cooper not only does all the regular cat things that our boy does, like disappear for long stretches of time and then lie like a slug for even longer stretches, he also is a published artist and he even has his own blog.

Once a week his owners, filmmakers Michael and Deirdre Cross, fasten a lightweight digital camera to his collar, which snaps a new photo every two minutes. You can see from the photo that it isn't big, and they don't make him wear it all the time. They obviously wanted the answer to a question so many pet lovers have asked themselves: What do they do all day?

Now they know, and they have framed 16 of the answers and put them up on display at the Urban Light Studios in Seattle until the middle of March. This picture of a tabby cat turning the corner, for example, is one of Cooper's efforts.

"We never thought we'd have an artist that is an American shorthair cat," said Kevin Law, owner of the gallery and a professional photographer. "But after seeing his photos, I was immediately blown away. He has classical compositions right out of a photo textbook. There may be no intent behind them, but they're beautiful artwork."

Part of the proceeds from exhibition sales will benefit Paws, a progressive animal welfare society.

You can read about Cooper at his blog: Cooper-catphotographer.

I think I'll have to get Nacho to write a book ...

Happy Valentine's Day, Sister Ethel!

2009-02-13T00:04:00.000-08:00

Love makes the world go round, and Sister Ethel Normoyle of Missionvale Care Centre spreads it far and wide. She will be on my own little love list tomorrow because I am definitely going to send her a Valentine's Day greeting.

A love letter to a celibate Irish nun in her 60s? That's not as odd as it sounds because Sister Ethel believes that any day that encourages us to love each other and treat each other better should be celebrated.

She makes me think of that line uttered by Jack Nicolson in As Good As It Gets, when he tells Helen Hunt,“You make me want to be a better man” (great date movie that, if you’re looking for something to take out of the DVD store tomorrow).

They say that the greatest gift a woman can give to a man is to make him want to be a better man – and Sister Ethel has that effect on a lot of folk. She makes us want to be better people.
She has seen her own community in Missionvale ravaged by Aids TB, poverty and crime, and many families torn apart by sexual and physical abuse, so she knows what she is talking about. To be sure, as a nun she is more likely to go for the AB of Aids prevention, not the full ABC (Abstain, Be faithful, Condomise), but how can you argue with someone who wants us all to love one another more?

Happy Valentine's Day, Sister Ethel!

Cupboard Love

2009-02-12T07:06:00.001-08:00

One of the perks of my job at La Femme is getting out and seeing interesting things and meeting new people and while I was out scouting for a good cup of coffee (which I found at Bocadillos) I also ventured down Clevedon Road in Mount Croix.

The Lavenders, the coffee shop there run by the Gunston family, now has a cutesy little addition at the back, in the form of a gift shop run by their daughter Carryn Scheepers.

She opened just before Christmas 2008 and has the admirable idea of promoting PE talent, and hence her five main suppliers are all from around here.

They include Beetle and Rhubarb (which we featured in La Femme before Christmas), Polka Dot's wire works, soaps by Ruby Soul from Plettenberg Bay, Soil skin products (well, only the agent is local there) and children's t-shirts, cement fondu shelves and crosses and a whack more by a most creative team called Gem & I.

Carryn loves birds so they fly all over the shop. It's a tiny wee place, tucked right at the back of the coffee shop, but worth a visit if you have small children to shop for or like quirky handmade goodies.

New Walmer coffee shop

2009-02-12T06:57:00.000-08:00

If you love Vovo Telo and its outlet at the Warehouse, you’ll welcome Bocadillos, the newest Repton family sandwich and coffee bar in Main Road, Walmer.

This time mum Gill has teamed up with her daughter Kerry to decorate and start the little restaurant, which you can find where Cobblestone started off last year. They only opened last month, a brave move in a heavily traded market in a what everyone says will be a scary year but so far is doing really well.

It has Vovo style food - rye, ciabatta, croissants and more - and you also can order sandwiches to go. The coffee, though, is Lavazza, not Illy, but my cappuccino there today was just as delish and with the same creamy designer froth.

Matt had better watch out, he might have cornered the market in Central and Newton Park but the Walmer ladies who lunch are already flocking to his sister’s new spot.

The decor is cool and light and modern ... and I enjoyed the way the mirrors reflect the wallpaper on the back wall.

Lovely stuff!

Is this the end of books?

2009-02-10T05:08:00.000-08:00

Amazon.com introduced the Kindle 2, a new version of its electronic book reader, yesterday, and it will go on sale later this month.
It can store 1,500 books from a library of 230,000 titles, yet it is only about as thick as a pencil, has a 15cm screen and weighs less than an average paperback book (about 280gm).
Since one entire wall in our lounge is filled to bursting with books I can definitely see the appeal of something this small.
The super-gadget uses 3G wireless technology and sells for about R3,500 but once you’ve bought it, that’s it, you have access to all those juicy books.
Whatever device is used, reading a book on an electronic screen no longer seems to be considered bizarre, even for older readers. When Oprah Winfrey showed hers off on TV last year and proclaimed it her "new favourite thing in the world," demand was such that Kindles sold out all over America.
Is this the end of books as we know them? Well, they said that when the first version of Kindle came out but I think it may take a while to filter through to the Eastern Cape.
In fact, a call to our own Fogarty’s Bookshop at Walmer Park met with blank responses “what’s that?” said two of the staff and even the erudite Theresa didn’t know anyone in PE who owns one. Do you know anyone who has one?
I can see the appeal, though ... except now no one will know how clever you are any more because you won’t have a single book in your house.

Women drivers

2009-02-09T04:50:00.001-08:00

Just yesterday I posted a little piece on how hard it is to get that driver's licence and today a colleague of mine at The Herald sent out this video clip of women drivers. It goes against my feminist grain to publicise how terribly women can drive but it is so funny I couldn't resist.
What is so ironic is that my colleague, "M", shall remain nameless because she failed her own driving test several times. At one stage her daughter thought she would beat her to it but mum did eventually - late last year - crack it. "M" said she hasn't "yet" tried any of those parkings moves or stunts so the rest of us are still safe for now.
The women in this clip really give the rest of us female drivers a bad name. Maybe they bought their licence at the same place so many of our taxi drivers do.

More weird names

2009-02-08T00:37:00.000-08:00

When you hear that the Berlin family of Missouri has three children, Lilian, Eve and Bosh, you might think, gosh, who would call their kid Bosh. Then you hear that they are all in a band called the Living Things … and that all three are boys. They do retro-punk kinda music, which I heard on 5fm this weekend and enjoyed.
I think musicians must be exempt from the mummy mafia rules which say “don’t give your baby an unusual name or they will be teased at school and never amount to anything in life”.
On the other hand, blandly named dads David, Frank and Michael gave their children the weird names of Zowie (Bowie), Moon Unit and Dweezil (Zappa) and Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily (Hutchence) and do you ever hear from the kids? The old timers with the boring first name are even in 2009 the famous dudes … Just a thought ... and remember my earlier post on how much readers hated Bronx Mowgli ?

If at first you don't succeed

2009-02-08T00:29:00.000-08:00

If you are one of those South Africans who has sat and failed your driver’s licence more than once, then you will empathise with that South Korean grandmother who failed her driving test 771 times.
Yup, 771 times … sort of puts my friend Megan’s three times in the shade, and I know a couple of people who’ve sat and failed more often than that. I suspect that former Algoa FM presenter Buli G is one of them, but I never managed to winkle out of her exactly how long it took to get her licence. However, get it she did … unlike at least two of my acquaintances who are still trying.
What I find more interesting is the extremely small number of people who DO pass first time around. In the past five years, I’ve known a whole slew of folk trying to get their driver’s licence and only one has managed first time (congrats, Jessica G).
The granny in question, Mrs Cha, is 68 and says she is not going to give up so Test Number 772 here we come … that sort of puts it in perspective. So, Megan, here’s wishing you good luck for the fourth time!

La Femme winners are winners

2009-02-04T02:26:00.001-08:00

La Femme winners are winners: the Port Elizabeth couple who won the prize of a trip for two to the JB Met last weekend, Megan and Michael Holden, also came third in the most elegant couple competition (that's Megan in her turquoise chiffon mini with SABC TV presenter Claire Mawisa).

If you consider that the Kenilworth event was by invite only, and there were 50,000 people at the track, that was amazing - especially when you think that Megan had five days to design her outfit and have it made – plus she’s five months pregnant!
The prizes for the best dressed were great and well deserved, especially when I saw what their opposition was. The theme of “glitz and glam” did not necessarily bring out the most elegant impulses in racegoers ... Durban "designer" Kevin Ellis for example (that's him and partner in white Elvis outfits) spent R30,000 on five different outfits, but sadly, money can't buy you style. There were a few who thought that spray-painting their skin silver fitted the theme but still, at least this couple looked as if they were having fun.

Having never been before, I hadn’t realised how much the Met was about fashion. We were there from 11 in the morning until 10 at night and it was quite an effort to watch the races. It was so much easier to loll around in the VIP tent, which was utterly luxurious - as it should be with a budget in the region of R2,610 per person.

Even so, I am pretty sure that some of the horses were more stylish than some of the racegoers ... we'll carry more pics in next week's La Femme, so watch out for that.

Hilarious letter on airplane food

2009-02-04T01:59:00.000-08:00

I was at the Met in Cape Town this past weekend (yes, believe it or not it was a work trip, sigh, what a hard life we journalists have!)
It was a fabulous weekend, travelling with lovely people who were the winners of a La Femme competition (more about them in another post later) and the hardest part probably was the dull food on the flight there and back. Nothing wrong with it, really, a standard domestic flight on SA Express but the two meals offered consisted of a pasta salad, hard bread roll and sponge-like dessert, both high on carbs and low on flavour, freshness or variety.
But thank goodness I wasn’t this anonymous gentleman, who suffered the traveller’s worst nightmare when he flew on Virgin in December last year. Click here to see the letter of complaint he addressed to Sir Richard. It must be one of the funniest moans ever.
Apparently, Paul Charles, Virgin’s Director of Corporate Communications, confirmed that Sir Richard Branson had telephoned the author of the letter and had thanked him for his “constructive if tongue-in-cheek” email.

No nipples on Facebook

2009-01-28T23:36:00.000-08:00

You might have seen the report in Weekend Post about Facebook banning mothers from posting photos of themselves breastfeeding.

In response, a America artist named Phil Hansen decided to push the Facebook limits with quite a creative art project. He photographed his own nipples and then posted a profile picture that was a collage of those photos to his Facebook page. Here it is – and this is what he has to say about it:

“As everyone is focusing so much on the war in Gaza, I picked a light comical war to focus on instead, the war on nipples. As some of you may have heard, Facebook deems showing of nips obscene including breastfeeding. Meanwhile, men’s nipples aren’t a problem. So I decided to post a picture of me made entirely with nipples. And now we will watch the fate of the photo on Facebook."

Click here to see a video clip of what he had planned. Click here to see what happened next. There was even a Facebook update from supporters around the world.

You might like to check out the rest of his site, Phil in the Circle, as he seems to be a very web-savvy artist. For example, just take a look at him doing a Prickasso with a dead duck ... the mind boggles!

No smoking, even at home

2009-01-27T23:48:00.000-08:00

If you are a smoker, be grateful that you don’t live in Belmont, California. This Silicon Valley town probably has America’s strictest anti-smoking law, effectively outlawing lighting up in all apartment buildings. From this month, residents who live in a flat in Belmont, California, are not allowed to smoke inside their own homes.
Compare that to here in South Africa where we have strict laws which rarely are enforced. Many restaurants give smokers the balcony area, rather than go to the expense of having a partitioned-off inside area.
Which should be fine, except, perhaps, if you are sitting inside next to a window at VovoTelo and there is a table of smokers right outside.
Which is why I loved the visit we had to Mariana’s Bistro, a charming little restaurant near Hermanus, over the summer holidays.There only are a half dozen or so tables and guests flock from near and far to eat Mariana Esterhuizen’s delicious food and be entertained by her husband Peter’s quirky waitering skills.
Their balcony has “no smoking” signs so you can dine al fresco without the whiff of tobacco overpowering your dish of the day.
Where do the smokers go? Like naughty schoolchildren going for a puff behind the bicycle shed, they are sent to the bottom of the garden.
Actually, it’s not that bad: the Esterhuizens have thoughtfully provided a table and chairs and they even have an undercover area for chilly or wet days.
How about it Port Elizabeth restaurateurs ... something you might consider?

Veet says bye to Bush

2009-01-23T01:20:00.000-08:00

Did anyone send you a copy of that cheeky Veet ad this week? If not, here it is ... as it appeared in the Sydney Daily Telegraph earlier this week.

A colleague sent me the e-mail and she obviously wasn’t the only one to think it funny. Since Obama took over from Bush as president of the United States on Tuesday this week, it’s been hurtling round the web.

Brand managers and marketing gurus have been giving the ad agency, Euro RSCG, all credit for the ad ... and it has been such a wow that Canada and New Zealand newspapers are also going to run it this weekend.

This kind of hair removal humour could only come from the irreverent land they call Down Under ...

Another tree woman puts down roots

2009-01-22T05:23:00.001-08:00

There’s a new “tree woman” in Port Elizabeth and this time she is sporting a green polka dot bikini and lying at the bottom of Upper Valley Road, with "Boo!" and "2009" tattooed on her calf and neck.
I imagine she’s related to the “tree woman” who put down roots just off Buffelsfontein near the Walmer Woods golf driving range in 2005.
That one sprang to life when someone with a sense of humour saw the shape of a woman in a fallen tree and decided to paint a bikini on the appropriate body parts. Here is my colleague Mike Holmes's pic of her, to give you an idea of her size. The next thing we heard, someone had daubed on a new pink polka dot bikini.
Then on Valentine’s Day two years ago up popped a “tree man” in red trunks and shortly after that a little sapling and a tree dog completed the family.
Sadly, last year The Herald reported that the tree child and dog had gone missing.
It reminds me of the Gnome Liberation Army abroad, and if you search for them on the internet you’ll discover that there really are people who take this seriously, such as the Free the Gnomes group.

Speaking of which, there is this poor little fellow in Victoria Drive in South End, who really looks the worse for wear, who could do with their services.
He’s lost his nose and one arm and probably hasn’t been painted or paid attention to for years.
So, if you know how to get hold of the mystery tree artist, please ask him or her to sneak up in the middle of the night and work their magic here.

We live in Big Sky country

2009-01-19T22:59:00.000-08:00

While the northern hemisphere is huddling around its heaters, we’ve been having a hot, hot, hot summer here in Port Elizabeth and along with that have been some fabulous cloudscapes.
I took these two photographs on a friend’s farm near Somerset East in the holidays because looking at skies like this just lifts my spirits. It's hard to feel stressed out when you are gazing at creation in all its unbounded glory.
If you love nature photographs, you also might like to check out Firefly and Skywatch. Firefly is a Port Elizabeth blogger who takes photographs that highlight our region and I’ve noticed that he also loves gazing at the setting sun. Yesterday he posted one of his daughter but perhaps he should submit it to Skywatch as even though it’s ostensibly of his little girl the contrast of her leaping up off the trampoline against the cloudy blue sky really hits home.
Anyone with a blog can post their own cloudscapes at the Skywatch site.
Port Elizabeth Daily Photo is another lovely blog for photographs that I particularly like because it is short on text and lets the picture tell the story. Have a look at Sue and Max’s shot of Hobie Beach at sunrise ... it's a stunner.

It's dicey

2009-01-19T04:26:00.000-08:00

Life is full of mysteries which while they don't quite keep me awake at night certainly pique my curiosity.

Such as, why does Kobus Wiese have a haircut that makes him look like a pineapple? Who was the person who counted the 7,000 species of dung beetles in the world?

Why are there still so many mistakes in The Herald when we have so much talent working here?

And ... the latest ... what do people do with the fluffy dice they buy at the robots in PE?

Since they started to sell these items, along with cell phone chargers, cockroach chalk and black bin bags, it’s really intrigued me.

Then, the other day I was at the Bridge and saw that they even sell them at that little boutique upstairs, Vibes.

Now, it’s one thing to sell totally useless items at the traffic lights ... the bad quality black rubbish bags, for example, that The Herald often warns readers about ... but another to discover that they are so popular that they are stocked even by regular shops. And the Vibes saleswoman told me, when I asked her who bought them, “everyone”.

But have you ever actually seen a car with these dice jiggling from the rear-view mirror? It’s the 2009 equivalent of an orange on the aerial ... please let me know if you see someone with these in their car.

Or perhaps I should take heed of my earlier post not to sweat the small stuff. Really.

Wind power blows PE's hair back

2009-01-14T05:33:00.000-08:00

Well done to Walmer Park Shopping Centre for setting up a row of wind turbines supplied by Eveready to generate electricity for the complex.

Alternative sources of energy have been explored for a while of course, except everyone’s thoughts turned to solar, not wind, power.

But think about it: we are not only known as the Sunshine Coast but we also live in the Windy City. Double the potential.

Some of America’s biggest chain stores are turning their eyes heavenwards for a new take on saving electricity. They are hoping that their immense, flat roofs are an untapped resource that can be used to harness solar power.

Last year several chain stores, including big ones as Wal-Mart and Safeway, installed solar panels on their roofs with a view to generating electricity on a large scale.

Now, we have a great deal more sun than our north American counterparts ... and as for the wind, well, step outside today and our south-wester will your hair back. I can’t remember such a breezy December for years – and those turbines have been whirring like mad up at Walmer Park.

Are any more shopping centres or business up to the challenge?

Curvy women are happier

2009-01-14T01:00:00.000-08:00

It was the Weekend Post headline that did it for me: “Curvy size 14 women happiest of all, poll indicates”.
Dontcha love it? Apparently women who are size 14, which is fairly ample, are the happiest with their life and looks. Now, the population of South Africa are predominantly that size or larger, I would imagine, so that should mean that we are a pretty happy lot.
The Herald Miss Port Elizabeth promo starts in a week or so and you can bet your bottom dollar that there won’t be any size 14 entrants among them. Or, if they do enter, they are likely to be sifted out before the gala finale evening.
Which is quite a shame as this year the competition is really trying to move away from the “bimbo in bikini pageant” image that always has dogged competitions of this nature.
This year The Herald will no longer be having a swimsuit section and is putting more of an emphasis of asking the finalists to be ambassadors for Nelson Mandela Bay, visiting charities and being informed on the issues facing the city. Certainly, Nono Gali, our winner in 2008, has been fabulous.
Diarise the date: April 24 for the finale and this year it will be held at that grand old lady of Whites Road, the Opera House. Sure, it’s smaller than the Feather Market C, but sometimes less is more. Less flesh, more class, for one thing as far as the finalists are concerned – plus it’s a beautiful and stately venue.
Keep an eye out for your La Femme on Wednesday, February 4, for all the info on how to enter, as that’s when this year’s competition launches.

Polar plunge fund-raiser

2009-01-13T01:56:00.001-08:00

January is the time of year that certain lunatics in the northern hemisphere raise funds for charity by doing something called the Polar Plunge.
The state of Maine, for example, has already had at least nine plunges this winter and Rhode Island had at least 10 on New Year's Day alone.
The idea is that you sponsor your friend to jump into icy waters, and they give all the money they raise this way to the charity. It works on much the same principle as other events do in South Africa, such as a big walk, a readathon and even those calendars where random groups of people strip off and pose for a photo.
It makes my blood run cold just thinking of it but if you go for a polar plunge, I suppose you may as well go big.
These four students in the picture, from Mankato in the Minnesota River Valley, were really putting their money where their mouths – and freezing limbs – were when they did their polar plunge.
Mankato’s winter temperatures dip to well below freezing in centigrade terms. I checked online and saw that tomorrow’s weather forecast for Mankato is 4 deg C – not to be confused with our winter low of 4, this is equivalent to our minus 16 degrees celsius. And don’t forget the wind chill factor which will take it down to minus 33 deg C.
Eina! You can rather sign me up for that 5km walk while reading a book in the buff right away ...

People for Earth

2009-01-13T01:14:00.000-08:00

South Africa was just starting to dip its toes into the waters of green living when along came the recession and made us all think about budgets rather than organics. You may have noticed that the organic food section is not the cheapest.

However, that doesn’t mean the green world movement is slowing down - which it certainly won’t if it’s up to people like Sabina Pojded who runs an NGO in Europe called People for Earth

She’s also got a blog, which I’m going to add to my list of favourites (you’ll find that list at the right hand side of this site).

I totally love it when I discover how and what other people are doing to make a difference. Read what she has to say and be inspired.

What is so amazing about Sabina is that she doesn’t live in New York, Los Angeles or London, but in Gorenjska, Slovenia ... now where the heck is that?

One of the features of her site is a “daily action” plan to help save the planet – and one of them ties into one of my pet peeves, bottled water. It has its place, to be sure, but read what she has to say about it in this post from January 6 and you'll think twice before reaching for that Bonaqua.

The Little Black Dress

2009-01-12T06:06:00.000-08:00

Black is beautiful, black is flattering, it's a colour which allows most most women to feel just a slight bit slimmer and everyone should have at least one “little black dress” but – as my colleague, Susan, noted today after ploughing through the news wire shots from the Golden Globes awards – black also can be “boring, boring, boring”.

In fact, said print-savvy Sue, what possessed these celebrities to wear so much black to the awards ceremony when the media so love colour? From the plunging neckline of Tina Fey (top left) to the more modest garb of Rene Zellweger and Sally Hawkins, most of the stars wore black ... including best supporting actress winner Kate Winslet and Amy Adams (below).

There were a few splashes of vibrant colour, with Eva Longoria (red) and Cameron Diaz (pink) among the few to wear bright colours. Fashion pundits called the palette of black, grey, cream, mustard and off-white that dominated the dress divas “sophisticated”. On the whole, though, I have to agree with Susan ... here's hoping they ramp up the colour for the Academy Awards next month.

Don't sweat the small stuff

2009-01-12T00:52:00.000-08:00

January 1 has been and gone, and along with the date so too have most New Year’s resolutions.
We all faithfully promise to lose five kilograms, eat five portions of fruit and veg a day, go to the gym five days a week, drop five shots off our golf handicap (well, OK, maybe I’m alone on that one) and be five times nicer to our fellow man ... but we still keep on trying.
This year I’ve decided something quite different. After all, it is exceptionally difficult to make life changes, even with the best will in the world.
And, when you stop to think about it, what is it that makes you happy or unhappy? Surprisingly, it's not usually who is president or how awful the economy is. In my case, it’s often really small things (as you might have noticed from Friday’s post) so I’m going to try and not sweat the small stuff.
As my psychology professor at UPE used to say, “don’t push the river, let it flow”.
Here’s to a free-flowing, marvellous 2009 ...

These are a few of my least favourite things

2009-01-09T05:01:00.000-08:00

The sins below are, in the big scheme of things, not big things at all but they really do irritate me. This year these folk will not qualify for my “be five times nicer to your fellow man” New Year’s resolution.
In no particular order they are:
* Drivers (who are clearly not disabled) who park in the disabled parking bays at shopping centres.
* People who work in an open office environment holding private conversations at high volume (you know who you are)
* People who work in an open office environment eating KFC at their desks (you know who you are too)
* Able-bodied people who take the lift up one floor and taking it one down is even worse (you probably don’t have a clue if you are one of these, but I can tell you now, I have some pretty plump colleagues who do just this)
* People who send an SMS when a phone call would be almost as quick. Yes, it’s easier but it’s so often a cop-out
* White South Africans who talk about black South Africans as “them” and “they”.
* People who toss litter out of their car windows.
* Drivers who don’t strap in their young children on the front or back seat.
* Those who automatically opt for bottled water. PE’s water is still pretty OK, you know, despite the fuss reported in The Herald so just get over yourselves.
There, now I feel much better and, apart from that, I really will try and be nicer ...

Life begins at 40

2009-01-08T05:56:00.000-08:00

At the beginning of a new year many a woman’s thoughts turn to ... getting another year older.But why is it that so many women fear turning 40? Scientists have revealed the age at which we reach our mental peak – and the answer is not, as Douglas Adams would have it, 42, but 39.

So, if life does begin at 40, it’s because you’ve hit the summit and can now freewheel downhill for the rest of your life (wouldn’t it be wonderful if life gave you a “free pass” at age 40?)

By testing how fast a group of subjects aged 23 to 80 could tap their finger in 10 seconds, a psychiatry team at the University of California found that the brain was at its most efficient at 39, but that its power dropped “at an accelerating rate” once it hit 40.

They reckon it’s because of the loss in middle age of a fatty sheath, myelin, that coats the nerve cells or neurons (in case you’re wondering that’s not a pic of pot plant, it's actually a close up of a myelin-sheathed axon). When this starts getting dodgy, your responses start slowing down.

And you’ll suffer more if you’re a tippler because the brain is made of fat and when you feed it alcohol you dissolve that fat, and destroy your brain cells.

Maybe this is why when you’ve had too much to drink you think you’re a genius when actually you are behaving like an idiot. Perhaps you should have thought of this before that New Year party ...

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-24T01:31:00.000-08:00

If, like me, you adore food and Christmas, then you may well eat and drink too much over the next couple of weeks. I know, I know, that’s not actually what Christmas is about but for most people it is one of the givens of the season. So this evening when the family sits down to its Christmas Eve feast why don’t I skip the champagne cocktail, pass on the roast potatoes and say “no” to the pud with brandy butter. It will be far better for my physical health.

On the other hand, why don’t I just hack off my right arm with a blunt butter knife and while I am at it why don’t I also poke out my left eye with a chipolata wrapped in bacon.

After all, it is not the week or so of gastronomic excess that is making me, how shall I put it ... ahem ... cuddly ... (I have a stubborn feminist streak that just refuses to call myself “fat”) (even if I was) (and I am not) (so there), it is actually what I do the other 360 or so days of the year that makes the difference.

Sure, Christmas does present so many opportunities to over-indulge but I’m not going to blame Santa. I am going to enjoy my holiday treat and I hope you do too ... let’s worry about the calories in January, because as they say in the (South African) classics, more is nog ’n dag.

La Femme closes for two weeks now, so see you in the New Year!

Christmas cards with a difference

2008-12-21T21:53:00.000-08:00

Last week I posted a piece on how few people are sending old-fashioned Christmas cards (and discovered that Jeanne of Cook sister fame still sends 50+ .. wow! I am impressed at that!).
This week I stumbled upon an artist, Andrew Shaffer, who sends cards that are selling pretty well, considering that the US is in a depression. The reason? He is selling “great depression” cards, plus a funny range aimed at cynical sorts and atheists. He sees quite a resemblance between Charles Darwin and Santa Claus (as you can see from the "Evolution of Man" card alongside).

To me, Christmas still does begin and end with Christ but there are plenty of folk in this world who just do see it either as a party or a marketing opportunity.

Come to think of it, the few cards that I have received this year at La Femme haven’t had much to do with Christ either. They have mostly been from public relations people who obviously have a budget to schmooze clients with cards.

Now, journalists and PRs always have and probably always will co-exist rather uneasily. We do need each other, to be sure, but it’s a love-hate relationship. Basically, they love sending me stuff that I would hate to use in La Femme. Then, at Christmas, they send me a card just so that I can remember and feel guilty about it.

Tacky Christmas sweaters

2008-12-19T04:15:00.001-08:00

Who said Americans lack a sense of irony? They certainly have a sense of humour. One of the biggest Christmas hits this season is the ugly sweater party, where guests turn up the most horrible jerseys that they can find - the tackier, the better.

And if you can get a friend to dress up and go along with you - as in this photo - double bonus.

Even a heart throb like Colin Firth couldn’t make a tacky sweater look sexy. Bridget Jones saw him wearing a ludicrous jumper and then immediately discarded him from her list of potential suitors. It takes the whole book for the girl to come to her senses and realise that he didn’t choose the sweater and that he, actually, was a pretty nice guy.

Thank goodness we live in Africa. We may have crime galore, a recession that looks as if it will bite even deeper next year and a constantly changing political landscape but there is only so much fashion damage you can do in a T-shirt and flip-flops ...

Clever Christmas shopping

2008-12-19T04:06:00.000-08:00

The thought of all that extra shopping at Christmas blows my mind, not to mention the budget. It’s tiring and stressful to get through the madding crowds in the run-up to Christmas, fight your way through the long queues to the tills at Checkers or Pick ’n Pay and then navigate that wobbly trolley with the stuck wheel out to the car, unpack in the hot sun and wind, and drive off home again.If the outing was for fun stuff and you had heaps of money, then I can see shopping can be enjoyable but grocery shopping? Duh, not.
Worst of all, it’s when you get home at Saturday lunchtime and unpack your shrinking pile of groceries that you realise, actually, you forgot to get tea bags and mince pies and the relatives are descending for a pre-Christmas visit this afternoon. You look through your list – that’s if you are even organised enough to even have a written-down list – and realise you left several vital items off. Soooo annoying.
This is where the SmartShopper grocery list assistant can be handy. Simply speak the name of a grocery item into this electronic device, which mounts on the wall or magnetically affixes to the fridge. It remembers and organises your list into categories like produce, drinks and household cleaners, and prints the list at the touch of a button.
SmartShopper recognizes 2,500 common household items, and more can be added. Here in South Africa I suppose we would add Mrs Balls chutney, boerewors and Marmite. At around $100 (more than a thousand rand) it’s a touch pricy for South Africans, but can you imagine how useful it would be?

What's in a name, Bronx Mowgli?

2008-12-18T05:59:00.000-08:00

People give their children the oddest names. In the olden days in South Africa, white people used to chuckle at black kiddies called Sixpence, Pepsi, or Hurry-up. Of course, the black kiddies had perfectly good African names that the white people just didn't have a clue how to pronounce.

And there has always been a tendency in Afrikaans-speaking families for made-up names like Heraldine, Fredline and Loumarizanne.There was a picture in The Herald the other day of a child called Schjimoné, and I read yesterday of a young swimmer called Anoraine. Shame, what happened to plain Jane? It’s certainly easier to spell.

But we English-speakers are also prone to it: I’ve bumped into a waitress in George recently called Shyne. Apparently, her grandmother was called Shine, and her folks thought they would give it a twist with the “y” in the middle.

But, really, the celebs Stateside put our odd names to shame: this week The Herald also reported on Bronx Mowgli, who is the unfortunately named offspring of Ashlee Simpson. That's mum in the picture, with dad Pete Wentz. Young Bronx Mowgli is one month old and already his name has been voted the most disliked male baby name in a survey of around 5,000 visitors to a baby names website. Ag shame, baby, you edged out Sophocles Iraia Clement who was a close second-to-bottom.

I kid you not ...

Port Elizabeth season opens

2008-12-17T02:44:00.000-08:00

The fireworks at the opening of the season just get better and better ... take a look at this photo by The Herald photographer Fredlin Adriaan ... and there was half an hour of brilliant flashes like this in the night sky at Shark Rock pier here in Port Elizabeth last night. The Herald reported today that there were 100,000 people and I could well believe it. The weather was perfect, around 22 degrees C and only a tiny breeze.

Oh, and Freshly Ground, the group performing after the fireworks, were fabulous. Port Elizabeth rocks!

Tip for next time though: take the Schoenies road round to Summerstrand, or leave home before 7pm or you won't get there by the time the show starts at 8.30.

Do you still send "real" Christmas cards?

2008-12-12T02:46:00.000-08:00

You might have read Jeremy Maggs’s column in The Herald today, about the demise of Christmas cards.

That really does bring back fond memories and I suspect by the time our kids are adults Christmas cards will be seen in the same light as gramophone records, those dial-up telephones with holes for your fingers (when did you last see one of those?) and other quaint relics of the technological dark ages.

This year I’ve had heaps of Christmas cards by e-mail, and I suppose I could string them up on a bit of red ribbon and hang them over my desk at work, but they are just not as festive as the old-fashioned variety. Plus our office printer is only black and white.

One NGO in Port Elizabeth, sent me a lovely card, in PowerPoint form, signed by a totally different charity organisation. Now, I’m not sure if the sender had Alzheimer’s approaching (one of them was, in fact, the Algoa Bay Council for the Aged), or if it was merely someone too hasty to forward a cute card and not bothering to change the details.

That’s the problem with the electronic version, it’s just too easy to send, hence you get sent cards by the most obscure folk whom you don’t really know, and you send them right back.

Here is the one I’m planning to send out just before I go on leave ...

Shoot out in Central Port Elizabeth

2008-12-11T06:06:00.000-08:00

Today I have something slightly more serious to post. The Herald building is on the edge of the inner city of Port Elizabeth and most of us here at Newspaper House are used to strolling down Govan Mbeki Avenue in our lunch break, either to pop into the bank, or pay an account, or browse through the shoes (Yes, there are many suburban folk who shudder at the thought of dipping a white toe into “Africa” but in case they haven’t noticed, we actually do live in Africa and not lower London or western Washington. Get with the plan, folk.)
Anyway, yesterday was hot and on my way back from town I idly looked at the long queue at KFC, thinking how delicious one of their soft serves would be, but was it really worth that long queue when I probably should have already been back at my desk, slaving away at next week’s La Femme, when all of a sudden, a crowd of folk interrupted my reverie and came swarming round the corner and swept me off deep into Traduna Mall.
“Run, run, sister, run!" shrieked one mama, pushing me out of Govan Mbeki. “They are shooting!”
She grabbed me by the arm and yanked me into a shoe shop (never an entirely unpleasant experience for me, I must confess) and told me the buzz was that someone had tried to hijack a car outside in the street.
The police, or whoever, let off a few shots - which was why the passers-by and shoppers were running in terror. A few minutes later, when things quietened down, I gingerly stepped back out to investigate and found two policemen waving their revolvers over two very ordinary looking guys lying flat on the grit, arms spread, next to a dented car.
I decided to forgo the ice-cream - it seemed a bit trivial after the terror and pandemonium – and hot-foot it back the few hundred metres or so to The Herald in case the news desk wanted to follow up for a pic or a story.
Which they did, sort of, expressing polite but mild interest. The problem was that it was too small, really, to go into a newspaper in today’s South Africa.
“It’ll just be a ‘short’,” warned the news ed.
“It was all over by the time I got there,” said the photographer, who got sent out.
"No one was killed, or even hurt,” said another.
Another day in sunny South Africa. Darn, and I missed out on that ice-cream ...

Light bulbs are banned

2008-12-09T06:45:00.000-08:00

What a bright idea
The European Union has agreed to ban the traditional lightbulb from the end of next year. They will be replaced with energy-efficient bulbs, and the first to go will be the ever-so-useful 100-watt bulb. After that, the ban will be extended to lower wattages, with a complete ban of the familiar incandescent bulb by 2012. And, I am sure, with our Eskom hassles, South Africa will no doubt in time follow suit.

This has huge implications for joke writers around the world who will be deprived of the familiar “how many (insert group you wish to insult) does it take to change a light bulb?” After all, you’ll hardly ever change one of these bulbs, because they last for ages.

Energy-saving lightbulbs can help us with climate change and household bills, with even one bulb saving up to as much as R900 worth of electricity over its flickering lifespan.

Politically correct though they may be, however, they just don’t have the same comedic potential somehow. So, for old times sake, here is my personal fave (and, no, it's not a blonde joke):

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the light bulb must really want to change.

Please do send in yours, specially if it has a lekker South African flavour.

Take that you Bratz

2008-12-08T02:31:00.000-08:00

Come on Barbie, let's go party ...

If you get The Herald, you can read in La Femme on Wednesday how Barbie has beaten the Bratz. And for those of you who don’t have pre-school daughters: that’s Mattel’s Barbie doll winning a court battle against MGA’s Bratz dolls.

The end result means that you won’t be able to buy Bratz anymore, because Barbie has knocked the usurpers off the perch that was hers for so long. Barbie, in case you didn’t know, is 40 something, and the Bratz only seven years old – probably the same age as their biggest fans.

"Few parents will shed a tear at this turn of events," wrote The Telegraph reporter Sarah Vine. "Despite her reputation as an anti-feminist fantasy, Barbie’s plastic smile and unfeasible chest-to-waist ratio are as nothing faced with the unalloyed trashiness of the Bratz dolls."

She continued in the same biting vein: “Barbie may have ridiculous breasts but at least she is not parcelled up to look like jailbait while the four core Bratz characters, with their ostentatiously ‘street’ styling and abrasive attitude, are the Pussycat Dolls of the toy world.

"Overtly sexualised, fashion and fame-obsessed, the principal Bratz pursuits are dressing up, going out, parading about in front of a microphone and doing their make-up. They come pre-daubed in garish eyeshadow and mascara, with glossy, collagen-enhanced lips and distinctly minxy, come-hither expressions. They make Barbie look like a Sunday school teacher.Infuriatingly, little girls love them – in much the same way as little girls used to love Barbie."
You must have seen them on the shelves ... Barbie mermaids and princesses compete with Bratz who look more Paris and Britney than Pocohantas and Cinderella. Both are vacuous, but for me the scales tilt in favour of old-fashioned fairy tales and away from cheap glamour and empty celebrity.

Who knows, though, in another 40 years maybe the Bratz will seem as wholesome as bran muffins ... and Barbie will be pushing up daisies or steering her zimmer frame around an old age home.

Conceivably, Mattel, having won its court case, should own the Bratz concept which would make Barbie and the girls ... hmm, new best friends?

Not Rudolph

2008-12-05T04:26:00.001-08:00

Now this reindeer-shaped coat rack may seem wacky but look closely and you'll see that it is actually quite a practical item ... if Port Elizabeth’s Christmas Shop sold these, I would want to buy one.

They come from a suitably seasonal country ... and I love their name. Icelandic graphic designer Ingibjörg Hanna calls the rack Not Rudolph. As her website says, , Ingibjörg "loves to reawake the child inside us all" with her playful and functional creations.

She also has a series of coat hangers shaped like birds. Her “raven” series consists of three different types, one mounted from the ceiling, a standard coat hanger and one that is able to clip trousers or skirts. Iceland may be bankrupt, but it has some bright sparks living there.

Real Beauty

2008-12-03T00:12:00.000-08:00

The many faces of Eve

I was up in Johannesburg last weekend and the friend I was visiting took me to the Goodman Gallery to show me an exhibition by Jodi Bieber titled Real Beauty. Wow, what an eye opener ... it consisted of massive photographs of South African women in their underwear but these were not the young and beautiful sort that normally grace the fashion pages of La Femme.

No, no, no, they were all ages and sizes and shades, and some were ancient and wrinkled, others flabby and veined, or just wildly overweight. What they all had in common was that they were not models but average women, just like you and me.

You can find out why former press photographer Bieber chose this theme in her press release here. It's worth reading.

Now, when I asked a colleague to scan in the exhibition photo for me to use on this blog he did a double take. After all, in the media we don’t usually publish photographs of people semi-nude unless they are young and beautiful ... it was a sobering thought.

But, you know what? After I had looked around the exhibition, I discovered I could see real beauty in many of them. Every woman had something special, a spark of something. Courageous, certainly, to show so much of their physical imperfections and yes, they were each, in their own way, beautiful.

Viva real beauty!

Hypochondriacs get worse

2008-11-27T03:52:00.000-08:00

Hello cyberchondriacs ...

If you leap online and then reach the worst possible conclusion every time you have a sniffle you might just be a cyberchondriac – the new millennium version of a hypochondriac.

That cough? I may have TB. Sore hands? Carpal tunnel syndrome, and that means I’ll have to stop working on a computer forever. That itchy eye? It’s galloping Pink Eye. That nodule growing on my ankle? Bubonic plague.

A new study shows that self-diagnosis by search engine frequently leads web searchers to conclude the worst. The study found that web searches for things like headache and chest pain were just as likely or more likely to lead people to pages describing serious conditions as benign ones, even though the serious illnesses are much more rare.

Actually, I blame shows like Grey’s Anatomy as well, the patients there never just have a migraine, it’s always a brain tumour or something far more unusual and why shouldn’t I have an extra-special illness too?

I have to go now, all this writing makes me a little tired and I am terribly afraid I have an impeding case of narcolepsy.

Actually, that’s not a rare and terminal disease as a former colleague, Mr G, actually did have narcolepsy. At least that was his excuse he gave for nodding off in front of his computer when he should have been sub-editing our deathless prose.

The bigger problem was, though, that he used to surf the internet for pornography in between subbing stories and all too often he would nod off. We work in an open-plan office which meant that these lurid images were up on his screen for passers-by to see. Literally, a case of being caught napping ...

Nog huisies ...

2008-11-26T05:45:00.000-08:00

I didn't have space to post all the quaint Buffalo Bay house names yesterday, so here are some more. For those of you wanting to find out more about the village, click here (just like the place, the site is tiny). You'll find yesterday's photographs on yesterday's post, Almal wil 'n huisie by die see he.

Almal wil 'n huisie by die see he ...

2008-11-25T05:30:00.000-08:00

("Everyone wants a little house at the sea" ... Koos Kombuis)

Holiday homes can be shacks and they can be mansions. Buffalo Bay, or Buffelsbaai to its mostly Afrikaans residents, has both and with soul aplenty. You can stroll around the hamlet in less than half an hour. I felt like Bill Bryson travelling round Europe in Neither Here Nor There, as everything is so fetchingly familiar and yet at the same time it’s another world (well, to an English-speaking visitor, that is).

Buffalo Bay is an unpretentious little village, close enough to Knysna for the shops and yet far enough away to avoid the crowds and chi-chi Disney-fication that has afflicted parts of this beautiful region.

It’s almost as if the homeowners have entered a competition to see who can give his or her home the cutest names. Only a few spoilsports have stuck to the street numbers.

I loved the variety and imagination these signs showed but, just like Obama, Jou Doring, there are just no English equivalents for some of these names ...

Hug a tree today

2008-11-24T22:55:00.002-08:00

But if you want to hug a tree today, don't make it this one ... have you ever noticed that magnificent fig tree at the intersection of Cape Road and William Moffett Expressway, opposite the old Kahns?
The Herald used to be full of stories of the threats around the arboreal elephants at the other end of William Moffett, where Fig Tree Village is, but I've never seen anything on this lonely giant.
It is sporting a canopy of green leaves right now, which are taking a battering in our spring winds. Last weekend the branches were like huge green bellows pumping out air, refreshing this traffic-jammed intersection.

But, although this fig tree is magnificent from afar, it is far from magnificent if you decide to take a closer look. It smells of alcohol and has broken beer and liquor bottles all around it, and even a few tossed up into its branches. Graffiti gashes its trunk and more than a few splatters of paint. It’s a meeting place for bergies and an easy-access outdoor urinal. Its position, next to one of the city’s largest bottle stores, makes this perhaps not so surprising.
I know there are more pressing problems in the metro that the state of one tree. Still, though, I find it a little sad ...

Buy a book for Christmas

2008-11-21T06:28:00.000-08:00

Just don't buy me this one ...

One of the perks of being a journalist who loves reading (you know, there are journalists who don’t read, odd as it sounds) is that publishers send you titles to review. Sometimes though, I’d rather they didn’t, as in the case of this new release, The Girlfriend's Guide to Rugby.

It’s a bit like those idiot’s guides you get, and tries to lure unsuspecting girlfriends into learning more about the manly game so they can spend happy times watching the chaps play with odd-shaped balls.

“We've squeezed in a final title for the year, we couldn't resist it, it is the perfect stocking filler” blurbled the Johannesburg pee-ar in her e-mail from the publishing house.

I know they sell all sorts of absurd titles at Christmas to those who don’t have a clue what to buy their loved ones but this is just so patronising. Just as you never hear of a guy being asked how he juggles fatherhood and a career, I don’t think we’re likely to get a matching series of Boyfriend’s Guide to ... titles.

Here are a few the opposite sex could do with though: The Boyfriend’s Guide to Ballet, The Boyfriend’s Guide to Baking and The Boyfriend’s Guide to Leg Waxing. Let’s add in a couple that might even conceivably be useful: The Boyfriend’s Guide to Shopping, The Boyfriend’s Guide to TV Remote Etiquette and The Boyfriend’s Guide to Chocolate.

What can we expect next? If this stupid title sells, we may be bombarded with flurries of PR bumf on titles such as Girlfriend's Guide to Cricket or Girlfriend's Guide to Soccer – especially with World Cup fever starting to rise. Heaven forbid, there are so many formerly obscure sports on TV all the time that the list could go on and on.

Even if Girlfriend's Guide to Rugby had heaps of pics of a sweaty Schalk Burger without his shirt on, and lovingly framed close-ups of Bryan Habana’s lips, it would still have limited appeal to womankind.

And if my beloved dares to try and slip this under the Christmas tree with my name attached, it’s not a stocking that will get stuffed.

High-tech homework excuses

2008-11-20T03:54:00.000-08:00

Teachers have only a week or so left until the end of term ... and although for the most part homework is history for this year I’ll bet they are thrilled not to have to hear the usual lame excuses for not doing homework for nearly another two months.

Spare a thought for teachers in today’s technology world, who reportedly have to add the following excuses to the old staples.
The top five (believable) tech-related reasons given were:

* My computer crashed and I lost it
* I finished my homework but then I deleted it by accident
* I could not print it out
* My internet was down so I could not do any research
* I lost my laptop

And those who can remember the days of pencils and paper will be relieved (and I use that word advisedly) to learn that the traditional “a dog ate my homework” still gets a look in, as Madame Fifi was blamed for having urinated on one unfortunate pupil’s computer, which then exploded.
Sounds like a shaggy dog story to me ....

007 and the Angry Alien bunnies

2008-11-19T02:34:00.000-08:00

The name's Bunny, James Bunny ...

I've been away on leave (more about that later) and rounded it off by going out to a Port Elizabeth premiere of the new James Bond movie, Quantum of Solace, last night.

It was hosted by FNB, whose invite stated “black tie” ... now, many women find it hard to resist a well-groomed gent in a tuxedo but, surprisingly, given how relaxed the guys in our neck of the woods are, heaps of them cracked the dress code. And the women too ... gorgeous red carpet gowns, Oscar-winning style. Refreshments in the form of martinis and sushi added up to a cool evening.

The bad news is that you don't get to see Daniel Craig emerging from the waves in those blue swimming trunks again, as you did in Casino Royale (now that was a memorable movie moment, right up there along with Mr Darcy striding out on the way to speak to Elizabeth in Pride and Prejudice.) Here's a word to all those old-style Bond fans - forget Ursula Andress, and even Halle Berry - we're in the new millennium now and movies today make men sex objects in the same way they used only to do to women.

However, if you were not there, and don’t have a spare evening to take in the action, you might like to take a sneak peak at the bunnies version of it.

In fact, they are pretty similar ... both hurtle through the surreal script at a hectic pace, have a rogues' gallery of ludicrous villains with hammy accents, spectacular car chases and a high dead body count.

Don’t know the bunnies? You’ll find their fiendishly hilarious work at the website angryalien.com. If you’re one of those folk who think that cartoons are for kids be warned, if they spoof an x-rated movie, their spoof is also x-rated!

Obama, Jou Doring!

2008-11-06T06:51:00.001-08:00

Lost in translation ...

Even Port Elizabeth has been affected by the US election this week, and this is how a firm in Walmer showed its support for US president elect Barack Obama after his victory.

If you don't speak Afrikaans, "Obama Jou Doring!" means "Obama, you thorn!" but you can't really translate the festive, carefree tone of "doring".

Now, can you imagine this sign in South Africa 20 years ago? Then, could a South African have imagined a black president either here or in the US 20 years ago?

We have moved, and so has the world. Jou doring!

My top 10 chocolate treats

2008-11-05T01:16:00.000-08:00

The “F” in the “F-World” also stands for FOOD

Perhaps you’d appreciate a bit of help in tracking down the best chocolate treats, especially those which are available here in the Eastern Cape. I’m keen to share a few of my favourite places for chocoholics but, on the other hand, I don’t really want the whole world to know. Fortunately, Port Elizabeth people being as slack as they are, not that many of you will rush off and wipe out stocks of the delicacies.

Here are my personal faves:

1. The chocolate mousse slice at Ile de Pain in Knysna. This is a delicate rectangle of chocolate sponge topped with a mousse that is rich, bitter and silken all at the same time. Eat it and expire with delight.

2. The chocolate brownies at only three places in Port Elizabeth. These are: Dessie’s at Bloomingdales, Vovo Telo (Central and The Warehouse), and ... last, but not least, the newcomer Red Cherry’s coffee shop in Walmer. Red Cherry has a secret ingredient in the kitchen, in the form of Charlene, who used to work at the Warehouse, and she has a way not only with chocolate brownies but also with muffins. The so-called chocolate brownies that you buy at supermarket bakeries? Brownie-schmouwnie ... pale imitations, not to be taken seriously.

3. Karoo Moon’s Chocolate Indulgence is a lavish sauce too rich to be kept only for ice-cream.

4. The Magic Bar at Cobblestone Bakery, which, by the way, has moved to 40 6th Avenue in Walmer. A magic bar, for those who have to fall prey to this calorific addiction, is a rectangular slice of shortcake, topped with caramel, topped with chocolate chips, coconut and nuts.

5. Mrs Christodoulou’s chocolate cakes, both Greek and mousse. I am not sure if I should give you her address or phone number, suffice to say that she is a legend in Port Elizabeth chocolate cake addict circles.

6. Wickerwoods chocolate spring rolls. I’ve seen a version of this hot and crispy treat elsewhere, but chef-owner Joel Malkinson is a fantastic cook and his is still the best. It’s a bit like that Scottish horror, a deep-fried Mars bar, I suppose, except a lot more sophisticated.

7. Chocolats Marionettes from Emily Lee in Knysna. Emily imports couverture from Europe and creates the most deliciously unusual bars of chocolate in Knysna

8. Bushman’s River Mud Pie. This local version of old-fashioned millionaire’s shortbread has shortbread that is gritty like sand, but sweet like sugar. Those crumbly caramel jewels are made in Kenton, sold all over and, of course, one is simply not enough with a cup of coffee.

9. The hot chocolate from Nomu. It is solid chocolate, crumbled, to which you add hot milk. The wonderful thing is that it doesn’t sit on the shelf and tempt you to eat it straight away like a normal piece or bar of chocolate does but really desperate chocoholics (yes, I know you are out there and I share your pain) can eat it just as is.

Now, as you can see, the list is just one short of a “Top 10”. Please send in suggestions – just be sure that they are here in the Eastern Cape. I’ve only slipped Nomu in because it is a South African product, available in our supermarkets here and I know there are Port Elizabeth distributors for it. And remember, if you are short of an idea for a Christmas gift, the answer, for me at least, is chocolate, chocolate, chocolate ...

What do you spend your money on?

2008-11-03T04:28:00.001-08:00

My friend Debbie says you can divide women into two camps: underwear girls and those who love shoes. Some of fall into both groups, more’s the pity for our bank accounts, and there are those of us who just can't say no to a well-designed handbag. Then let's not even start on the brigade who yearn for shiny new jewellery.
Well, it’s up to you to choose where your money goes ... mine kinda likes to follow the coins in this little video clip ...

Comment from Canada on Something Good roadhouse

2008-11-02T05:06:00.000-08:00

Rob Hepworth, a former PE guy who now lives in Vancouver with his wife Rochelle and their kids, saw my post on the closure of Something Good and sent me this e-mail ....

"I happened to stumble across your article on Road Houses earlier today and it got me thinking …this is not just PE, but other places too.
Growing up in Uitenhage, we had a die-hard entrepreneur called Harry Panagis, who had the only roadhouse called “Harry’s Road House” out near Willow Dam.
It seemed to outlast many other business ventures over the next 30 years, but I believe it may still be there today, if only by the grace of God.
Surviving fires, break-ins, name changes, various business directions (Pan Handle / Disco)…even outlasting “little Bess”, the steam train and the Putt-Putt - across the road.
I remember the PE road houses a lot better. During my national service, and brief stint at UPE, I ended up supporting Casbah (Formerly the “SugarBush Wimpy), who was famous for their R1,25 burger, dubbed the “pets-mince burger”….long before Something Good changed that perspective.
While working at HAL Fennel, York Road, I used to support Westees, then legendary for their Venison Pies (that contained raisins) and their Strawberry Cheesecake. Pity to see them go.
I also remember “Palms Road House” near the Humewood Golf Club that , as you mentioned, has been reduced to a hole with a view.
That said, Vancouver has the same problem, I have noticed that most of the road houses here have been reduced to take-out fast food outlets. There was one, and I think the only one left, in Burnaby, called the “The 50’s Diner”, where you got served from your car, old style greasy food etc…but have noticed that they are hardly open any more.
The massive American food chain called “Allen & Wright”, now “A&W” (The Root Beer Kings) are everywhere and started out as a real road house, but have entirely changed direction, and are as unique as KFC, Wendy’s and McDonalds.
The only option left are the “White Spot” chain of restaurants, which have some locations that serve you roadhouse style, complete with the long board that gets clipped into your car from the inside (window to window) – an awesome experience, especially for South African visitors.
One aspect that has never changed, and remains constant, is the crappy service !!!
I’ll never forget The Red Windmill having that “FLICK YOUR LIGHTS FOR SERVICE” neon sign…and having a bus full of Woodridge pupils point out that the black paint on the neon tube, between the L and I, had been worn off, enough for the instruction to be changed to ”F*CK YOUR LIGHTS……”
Thanks for the article and the memories.
Regards,
Rob

Thanks Rob, I'd almost forgotten the Sugarbush, but who can ever forget that neon sign!

Obama on a pumpkin

2008-10-30T05:03:00.000-07:00

It’s not just costumes that the American citizenry have gone crackers over, it’s also pumpkins, and there is even a website, Yes, We Carve where you can download a stencil of Barack Obama to cut into your patriotic pumpkin.

Which is exactly what Bess Hinson of Ann Arbor did (that's her in the photo to the right)

If you have ever tried to carve a pumpkin – which is not, I admit, a major thing here in South Africa – then you will know just how time consuming this is.

I am telling you, the combo of elections and Halloween has seen major lunacy and the moon isn’t even full ...

Halloween fashion alert

2008-10-30T04:49:00.000-07:00

The Americans have gone doolally over Halloween costumes which spoof or support their election contenders – and not just masks of Obama and McCain.

Many people will be turning themselves into Sarah Palin tomorrow night just by rummaging through their wardrobe, but still, costumes like the $22,99 "Miss Alaska" kit are selling like hotcakes.

If you are brave, skip the demure fitted jacket and pencil skirt and just slap the sash on over a beauty queen bikini (Sarah was a runner up the Miss Alaska pageant in her younger days). Whatever you do, though, don’t forget the glasses.

Hollywood starlet Lindsay Lohan is one celeb planning to dress as Palin for her Halloween party.

On the other hand, you could go for a less revealing option with a Sarah Palin mask which sells for $18,99.

Hmm, I've got a Halloween party on tomorrow night ... let’s see what the weather does, before we decide what to wear, shall we?

A whale of a photograph

2008-10-28T06:21:00.000-07:00

Isn't this a magnificent photograph? It’s by National Geographic photographer Brian Skerry, who has a feature on southern right whales – the kind we often see here off the Eastern Cape coast – in the October edition of the magazine.

This shot happened as Brian was standing on the ocean floor off New Zealand when a bus-sized whale came in and gently inspected his assistant, who was standing just a few feet away. "My heart was beating out of my chest," Brian said but he got the shot and the photo of that encounter has since become an Internet sensation.

Brian is more than a photographer, he’s also an ecologist and on his website, he warns that our oceans are in trouble.“There are some serious problems out there that I believe are not clear to many people. My hope is to continually find new ways of creating images and stories that both celebrate the sea yet also highlight environmental problems. Photography can be a powerful instrument for change.”

We have the real thing right here in South Africa. Only a month or so ago, we were sitting at Enrico’s in Plett, which has the most amazing views across the bay to Robberg. It was one of those clear, sunny winter Saturday afternoons and we counted close to a dozen whales swimming just a few hundred metres out to sea, truly an awe-inspiring sight.

We’ve seen whales by the busload in our region this winter but who of us ever gets the chance to get this close? It’s only thanks to professional like Brian that we know what these giants look like underwater.

He's never seen our wonderful sea life but is keen to. When I contacted him, he replied the same day via e-mail: “I have never visited South Africa, but have a great interest in doing so!”

Love can make you fat ... and thin

2008-10-27T02:33:00.000-07:00

Women’s magazines are always telling us not to rely on a man for our happiness but did you see that story in the Sunday Times about how your happiness, or lack of happiness, in a relationship can make a difference to your weight?
That’s no news to girls who chomp chocolate when they’ve been ditched or feel sad ... According the study of 3,000 women, by a weight management firm Slendex.com there are five stages of a woman’s weight life cycle.
It shows that in a relationship stretching over several years, your body weight can swing up or down by about 10kg, which is a couple of sizes. The stages are:
1. Falling in love: she loses 2,4kg when she first falls in love
2. Comfort zone: she gains 4,5kg as the relationship settles into a groove
4. Getting married: she loses 4kg ... also known as “bridorexia”
5. Baby boom: she gains 6kg after falling pregnant and starting a family
6. Reinvention: she loses 5kg in a midlife makeover
It sounds pretty accurate to me.

Have you filed your income tax yet?

2008-10-23T23:44:00.000-07:00

Taxing times
Do you battle to get your income tax return in on time? You might be suffering from a mysterious affliction, called “late-filing syndrome”.
At least, that’s what one American politician supposedly has, according to his lawyers. New York governor’s aide Charles J O’Byrne (who, by the way, has a university degree and earns about a million dollars a year) didn’t put in a tax return when he felt depressed – and the poor fellow felt depressed often enough to omit to pay the US government about $292 780, which is about R3-million at today’s tragic exchange rate. His lawyers have asked for the court to show mercy due to late-filing syndrome, a “condition that made it difficult for him to fill out his tax returns”.
Now, if you are anything like me, then you are probably all over the place with your own tax returns, because here in South Africa the dates and the forms change every year. Actually, I’ve lost track of this year’s date, isn’t it sometime soon? Or has it already been? It makes feel depressed just to think of it.
Anyone know where I can get in touch with Charles J O’Byrne’s lawyers?

Misleading number plates

2008-10-23T01:02:00.000-07:00

Here is an update on the post on vanity number plates ... it's not from South Africa but by an Australian cartoonist, Tim Whyatt.

Perhaps what they say about men and sports cars is a global truth ...

Heavyweight politician breaks chair

2008-10-23T00:52:00.000-07:00

Now you know why they are called fat cats
IN case you miss seeing the cross-reference for this on the front page of today's Herald, here is the video clip that has been whizzing round South Africa this week. It's of a politician, Nhlanhla Nene, falling off his chair while being interviewed on SABC television.
I nearly fell off my chair ...

John Cleese twitters and blogs

2008-10-22T01:04:00.000-07:00

One advantage of starting to blog is that you stumble upon other blogs, such as that of British comedian John Cleese.

If you haven’t already seen it, you might like to watch his US election interview where he is rather nasty about Sarah Palin (it is sooo funny). To reassure any long-standing dyed-in-the-wool Monty Python fans, parrots, yes, they feature.

I’m not saying Cleese is a 100% hero. He has, for example, an atrocious track record with the ladies (married and divorced all three of his blonde American wives, even the most recent, long-suffering pyschotherapist), but at least he admits he only lives in California because of the awful weather in London.

But look at how he started on the path of comedy: Cleese was expelled from his high school for vandalism. Apparently he painted footsteps next to a statue of a military big-wig to make it look as if the General had stepped down from his plinth to trot over and relieve himself at the nearby school toilet. That was the start of Cleese’s illustrious career and although he turns 70 next October, he has just started blogging, and he is on Twitter.

Actually, you might like to check out Twitter ... looks like it might be the next big (well, actually, small) thing)

Personalised number plates

2008-10-21T01:01:00.000-07:00

Vanity of vanities?

I’m fascinated by the personalised, or vanity, plates South Africans choose, especially those in and around Port Elizabeth. There are the subtle ones, like PE’s municipal manager Graham Richards who used to have his initials, JGR on his Beemer.

Others are clearly just the person’s name – the bright orange Ford Focus driven by CALVIN and the black Honda driven by BONTLE, for example.

Then there are those which want to give you a message. The red Honda Jazz with 001 MUM is driven by a motherly sort, designer Morné's black Citroen dubbed CHICHI suits his persona to a T, and if the red Renault WOOF number plate didn’t give you enough of a scent, you’ll often find it parked where she works, at the vets.

As for the silver Pajero that says MY 4X4, seeing as this is driven by a well-coiffed matron, perhaps he has one too ... or maybe, just maybe, he drives the clapped-out 12-year-old rust bucket. Now that would be something ...

National Bosses Day

2008-10-14T23:32:00.000-07:00

You may not be the sort of person who would want to buy your boss a gift, it may seem a bit sucky-up’ish, but if you are that way inclined, it is National Bosses Day tomorrow (October 16) and you can have such fun tracking down the ideal gift online at the most entertaining website, Office Playground

Forget squashable stress balls, silver clacker spheres, paperweights and pot plants, you really can do much better.

One of Office Playground’s most bizarre offerings must surely be the yodelling pickle which you can use “to start off the day, as a tension breaker, to get your co-worker's attention, to wake up the office, as a stress reliever, or for yodelling practice!”

“Other inanimate food objects will fall short of greatness in the presence of the Yodelling Pickle.”

Quite so. Even the site’s wind-up pieces of sushi, spiral glitter wand, decision making dart board and bozo finger bop ball do indeed fall short. You’d have to be quite a humourless sort not to smile at the thought of a remote control whoopee cushion, just think of the havoc you could wreak in those long, dull meetings. Happy bosses day ...

Who is killing Port Elizabeth's road houses?

2008-10-13T07:31:00.000-07:00

Something Good is gone
Iceland might have had a financial meltdown but I'm far more worried about those closer to home.
Something Good roadhouse on the PE beachfront is gone, and so too, apparently, is Westees, both casualties of our financial hassles.
Whether or not you like roadhouse food and old-fashioned bakery pies, they were both institutions and icons of their kind.
As far as roadhouses went, Flat Rock was the first. It not only closed down, but the entire building was flattened. There is just a big gaping hole out there now, with a stunning view over the waves.
Then the Red Windmill closed, re-opening in a new incarnation that, frankly, just isn’t the same. It’s right next door to a KFC, for starters, so guess where the kids will want to go ... roadhouses never were big on toys and other goodies for kids.
Then there was the Casbah, which had the most fantastic slap chips. Then that shimmied away from its eastern roots and into the western suburbs where, although it tried to re-invent itself, I never heard of it again.
Now Something Good has closed, apparently several months ago, so Pollok beach visitors this summer will have to look elsewhere for their soft-serves and giant hamburgers (and do you remember their foot-long viennas?)
The latest in Port Elizabeth foodie places to flop, I heard only yesterday, is Westees bakery, which has gone bankrupt. Tragic. At least the Hancock Street outlet in North End is still running, but the other branches have gone. And boy, were their chocolate eclairs and pies among the best.
What are we to make of it? Is it a sign of South Africans changing their eating habits? One person I spoke to says we eat lighter, coffee-shop type fare now, rather than the greasy burgers, chips and shakes of old.
If that were so, I would be quite happy to see more coffee shops like Vovo Telo, Dessie’s and Cobblestone, places that are small, artisanal, personal and delicious.
Yes, people are cutting back on their spending, but I don't think they necessarily are eating more healthily. There is still a market for those slap chips and burgers, the problem in my mind is that the fast-food chains like Macdonalds, KFC, Steers and Nando’s have cornered it.
And guess which the beachfront has ... yup, chains.

* Please send in photographs you might like to post of these outlets.

La Femme breast cancer awareness day

2008-10-09T00:30:00.000-07:00

La Femme readers raised R44,450 for the breast cancer unit of the Cancer Association of South Africa last weekend. The Herald photographer Fredlin Adriaan took masses of pictures, which you will find online at La Femme

Television celebrity Janez Vermeiren was the guest speaker and ... surprise, surprise ... he features in nearly every photograph! Even our very own The Herald Greenacres Miss Port Elizabeth Nono Gali thought he was mighty fine ... but then, she was the lucky one to take off his shirt.

Further down this page you'll find info on Reach for Recovery and the great work it does for women who are facing a diagnosis of breast cancer.

Bay United Soccer explained

2008-10-07T03:43:00.000-07:00

Who or what is Umlilo ... and why should you care?

The Herald had a cartoon recently where Madam and Eve were working on how to pronounce the name of South Africa’s new president Kgalema Mothlanthe, but it might be more relevant for the Eastern Cape to learn how to pronounce Umlilo and what it means.

Until their big win here against Orlando Pirates week or so ago, I had never heard the word but it’s the nickname for our wunderkids in Port Elizabeth’s Premier Soccer League Team, Bay United – and it’s a safe bet Umlilo will be as well known as the Jumbos or the Warriors come 2010.

“Watsh Umlilo” translates into English as “They're on fire” ... and my colleague Chumani Bambani filled me in with an “Idiot’s Guide to Bay United”.

Captain: Duran Francis (that's him in the white strip)

Coach: Vladislav Heric (that's him, just to the right, wearing red)

Colours: Red for home game, white for away

Home ground: EPRU Stadium (Telkom Park)

Owner: Sipho Pityana

Youngest player: Sherwin Smith, 19, from East London

Top goal scorer last season: Zambian international Linos Chalwe, who scored 11 goals.

Cutest player: That was a tough call for Chumani, who says: “The ladies seem to think that great eye-candy is captain Duran Francis, goalkeeper Arthur Bartman and last season's footballer of the year Gareth Ncaca.”

So, now you know you can impress the guys round the water cooler ... Laduma!

Chocolate is good for you

2008-10-06T07:10:00.000-07:00

Is it really?

As a chocoholic who also is a journalist, my eyes always light up when I find copy on the news wires saying how healthy and wonderful chocolate is for you. It can ward off heart disease. It is full of anti-oxidants. All that sort of stuff. Of course, I immediately try and squeeze it into La Femme each week. But, now, chocolate lovers may have to be more circumspect because apparently these claims melt under a less excitable, more skeptical eye.

Look out for a book called The Healthy Skeptic, written by Dr Robert Davis, an award-winning health journalist who teaches at a US university. Sadly, he says we journalists are guilty of a “huge exaggeration of the truth”.

“The truth is that there have been small, short-term studies suggesting dark chocolate in large quantities may have some short-term, positive effects on the cardiovascular system, but it’s unclear whether there are any long-term benefits, and that’s what counts,” says Davis. “It gets translated to say dark chocolate is good for you ... and no food by itself has that kind of power”

He goes on to say “... These little nuggets of information can overwhelm us, and we lose sight of the big picture.” He is so right about those little nuggets. They are called Lindt Lindor chocolate balls and they can overwhelm me at any time.

Don’t you wish your desk had a doorbell?

2008-10-03T04:04:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I just hate working in an open-plan office. There is just no privacy. Apart from the whole office hearing your private phone calls, anyone, including and especially the office dork, can just walk up and chat because you don’t have a door that you can close.

Of course, most of the time I’m only too happy to chat because the crazy folk at The Herald are fascinating (you may have read some of their blogs – if not, then go to our website front page for more). However, sometimes, like right now, just before the weekend, it’s hard to stay focussed on the daily grind.

Here is a really useful invention, though, that would make a great Christmas present for workers in this position: I bet that Dilbert would love it. If you order it now, even with the South African post office’s not so snappy service, you should receive it in time for Christmas. It is a Cubicall doorbell to announce a visitor’s arrival at your cubicle or office space, and I suppose you could even hang it on your office door if you are lucky enough to have a proper office.

The cubicaller has three volume levels and a dozen ring tones, including chirping birds, cats meowing, a foghorn and the classic “ding dong”. It uses two AAA batteries and attaches to the wall of your cubicle with a double-sided adhesive tape and a hook-and-loop fastener. Not bad, eh?

One design flaw though ... unlike answering your home door bell, you can’t pretend you’re not in and ignore it ...

Christmas is coming

2008-10-03T01:21:00.000-07:00

THE Christmas Shop opened at King’s Court in Port Elizabeth last night. If you have a child, you’ll know how hard it is to explain to them why Christmas is still so far away when there are signs of it bubbling up all around – as in the Christmas Shop, a jewelled emporium dedicated to the season.

Look at these little angels, captured last night by Herald photographer Sam Majela.

And try not to be a Christmas grump and say “Bah humbug! It's only October 3! And these prices are outrageous! I can get cheaper at Checkers or Clicks or Makro”. Yes, of course you can (for some of the stuff) but that may not be the point. Rather treat it as a family outing, a visit to a glittering museum or art gallery, entrance free, and be transported into a child-friendly fairyland of twinkling treasures, an Aladdin’s cave, or rather Santa’s grotto. Who says you have to buy something?

For me, the Christmas Shop has become one of those must-do Port Elizabeth outings for the whole family. Perhaps it’s our post-millennium equivalent of walking up Happy Valley in Humewood to see the cartoon characters lit up at night or taking a drive down Main Street to see the Christmas lights. You can’t really drive down Main Street – now Govan Mbeki Avenue – at the moment, due to the renovations and “pedestrianisation”. And as for Happy Valley, hmmm, you may not want to do that night walk anymore unless it’s in a large group (South Africans will know why this is sad but if you are reading this elsewhere in the world, well, come visit one day and we’ll explain our topsy-turvy town).

It’s easy to like the Greek cousins, Evy and Maria, who run the shop – Maria Markides the beautiful and Evy Evlambiou the brave. Evy climbed Mount Kilimanjaro a few months back and then played an Afghanistani woman under the burka in The Vagina Monologues at the Opera House. I don’t know Maria so well but Evy, to me, is a cross between Mr Magorium and Molly Mahoney in Mr Magorium’s Wonder Emporium – a wise, ageless soul in charge of a magical space. I imagine Evy is not 243, though, but you can probably ask her.

Now, there is still that little problem of how to explain to the over-excited children that it is actually still 83 sleeps until the big day ...

Breast cancer awareness and support

2008-09-30T03:45:00.000-07:00

La Femme breast cancer teas

We are marking La Femme’s Breast Cancer Awareness day for 2008 with two teas at the Boardwalk Conference Centre here in Port Elizabeth on Saturday, October 4. You can read about in next Wednesday’s La Femme and check out all the photographs on line from Monday afternoon at The Herald picture gallery
The wonderful women at Reach for Recovery
may be able to help women newly diagnosed. If you live in our region, call Sheila Dibben, here in the Eastern Cape, at 079-347-9591, or e-mail her at: easterncape@reach4recovery.org.za

Sheila is in the right of the photograph, with fellow Reach for Recovery volunteers Leonie Harry (left) of East London, and Port Elizabeth’s Wanda Postepska. They have all had breast cancer, fought it, survived and now help others with their battle.

But what about those of you who are further afield, and couldn’t be with us, but would still love to share that sisterly support? Apparently, a growing number of cancer patients are finding solace online, finding the Internet a place to discuss the disease, keeping friends and family updated, and connecting with other patients.It doesn’t have to be breast cancer. More women die of heart disease than cancer each year, and many women die of other cancers, cervical cancer is one of the big ones. It’s just that breast cancer has become almost like a uniting force for women and although it may be the catalyst to meet in the first place, it’s not the final point in our discussion on our health and well-being.

However, with millions (yup, literally, there are millions) of blogs in the world, where do you even start?

www.CarePages.com is almost like Facebook, but without all the junk associated with it, where you create a page where people can go to give you some emotional support.

www.caringbridges is another site that offers a free, personalised website to support and connect loved ones during critical illness, treatment and recovery. Caring Bridge also has a video you can watch which explains what it does, and several inspiring stories.

It's not just women who hide their spending

2008-09-30T03:11:00.000-07:00

Update on Pat’s puppies

Last week I wrote about a colleague who lost out on half her birthday present because she hid its cost. Apparently, this is a very human failing, as a recent survey by Virgin Money highlights. This showed that more than three-quarters 80% of respondents admitted to hiding purchases from a spouse or partner.

It can also be damaging: 4% claimed that their other half left them once they found out about the sneaky spending.

Perhaps it’s not surprising that most women (76%) said their secret shopping was for shoes (and this season, it's gladiator sandals that are all the rage, says our fashion ed, like this one from www.ninewest.com

Another 11% said it was for jewellery, 4% for handbags (like this one from http://guccicomte.wordpress.com/ ), 4% for naughty bedroom toys and 3% for perfume. And 2% said they bought for cars and apartments without their partner knowing.

Don’t quite understand where they hid that new car .. you can’t really scrunch up the packet it came in and throw it in the back of the wardrobe, now can you?

Where it gets interesting is the areas where men lied: nearly half of them were hidden techno-freaks, with 41% of men spending on stuff like big screen TV’s (yawn ... when will guys just get over this TV fixation?). Then, there were quite a few (19%) who said it was spent on clothes, 16% claimed sporting goods and 9% admitted to adults magazines and movies. Just like the girls, 9% of the boys owned up to buying cars and apartments without telling their other while 6% bought gifts for the mistresses.

Now that I find interesting, did you notice any figures for us women buying gifts for our hidden toyboys? Nup, didn’t think so ...

Sunset over Hobie Beach

2008-09-30T02:55:00.000-07:00

Local is lekker

Judy de Vega used to be The Herald's chief librarian - now she has joined the photographic staff and, as you can see from this shot, is a painter with a camera. Judy took this photograph last Thursday in Port Elizabeth, as the sun went down over the harbour. She was shooting from Shark Rock Pier, looking north west. Just look at those gorgeous clouds ... Monet couldn't have captured it better and I bet it makes the ex-pats out there homesick.

Now compare that to the wild waves at Shark Rock less than a month ago, on Monday, September 1 http://www.theherald.co.za/Giantwaveswreakhavoc/index.html Judy's colleague, award-winning photographer Fredlin Adriaan, took the one used here. Port Elizabeth truly is a city of contrasts ...

Most men should not wear Speedos

2008-09-26T07:52:00.000-07:00

We may make an exception for Ryk ...

Our fashion ed here at The Herald, http://www.theherald.co.za/ Barbara Robertson, passed on photographs of this new “modesty suit” from Speedo. In case you are wondering, it is not a joke, you can buy these and you’ll read about them in La Femme one of these days. In fact, the suits are a pretty good idea as they cut back radically on your risk of contracting skin cancer, always a worry here in sunny South Africa. Plus I would imagine there would be a market among Muslim women, who would love to romp in the surf at Hobie Beach but don’t want to be “bare”.

Now I would imagine that most women know already that there is an unwritten rule that no man, except for Ryk Neethling, may wear a Speedo. I could post a pic of Ryk wearing exactly that (and you'll find one at http://www.rykneethling.com/ ) but I fear it would be labelled a cheap shot so let’s rather take an example of man who is in flagrant disregard of this rule.

Sadly, very few men are aware of this rule. As cricket season gets moving, just take a look around Castle corner at St George’s and those magnificent bodies fed by the frothy brew. Those very same men are the ones who I reckon could consider buying themselves a modesty suit for the beach.

It is perhaps redundant to say there is no such rule for women. Of course, you do get the tannies from Gauteng who descend on our beaches at Christmas, broil themselves to a polony pink and then desport themselves in costumes that don’t cover half enough. However, on the whole, women don’t need this type of rule because we are often our own fiercest critics and hate being on the receiving end of the withering comments.

But take a look at these two photographs and tell me if there is not something just slightly crazy about it all ...

Why do so many women lie about what they buy?

2008-09-25T01:45:00.000-07:00

Puppy love costs dearly

I heard a delightful story from a colleague at The Herald http://www.theherald.co.za/ this week. Animal lover Pat was in a coffee shop in Circular Drive here in Port Elizabeth and saw a painting of seven golden retriever puppies. She swears the pups were so beautiful they would have melted even Cruella de Vil’s heart so she decided there and then to splash out and buy the painting, and took it home to hang in her lounge. When her husband saw it, she had a pang of buyer’s remorse: after all, which level-headed adult with even a modicum of good taste would spend R800 on a print of puppies which even Pat describes as “a huge gold blob”?

"So, how much did you pay for it darling?" he asked.

"R400," she replied.

"Well," he said, "since I didn’t get you anything special for your birthday, let me pay you back for it and we’ll call that your birthday gift."

Pat so wished she’d told the truth because she’d just lost R400 - busted!

It also struck a chord with me and probably with half the female population. Haven’t you ever told the guy in your life “New shoes? Oh, no, I’ve had them for ages ...” or “This top? It was half price/on sale/really cheap/only R79”. And I know that this is not unusual, because I’ve heard a similar story from a Collegiate parent who fibbed about the cost of daughter’s matric dance dress (don’t worry, Mrs B, your secret is safe ... no names or dates will pass my lips ...)

What is it with us women?

National Heritage Day

2008-09-23T04:51:00.000-07:00

Wednesday September 24 might well be National Heritage Day and even National Braai Day here in South Africa, depending on your political and gustatory tendencies, but in the United States it’s also National Punctuation Day.
Even an illiterate moron can see that a panda which “eats, shoots and leaves” is a little different from one which “eats shoots and leaves” – and Brit wit Lynne Truss made her name an international synonym for perfectly punctuated sass in her excellent book of the same title. As she says on her site “Have fun. And always remember, ‘Call me Ishmael’ is different from ‘Call me, Ishmael’. Commas really do make a difference.” http://www.lynnetruss.com/
My own favourite illustration of that is closer to home: “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.”Or, if you want to invert the sexist slant, you might perhaps prefer: “Woman without her man is nothing.” Happy National Punctuation Day!

2008-09-23T02:04:00.000-07:00

A Beauty Competition for Nuns

(What nunsense!)

Did you see that piece in the paper about an Italian priest holding a beauty contest with a difference - it will be open only to nuns? What a weird idea!

The Times online reported that Father Antonio Rungi, of Mondragone, near Naples, said he expected at least 1,000 nuns to enter the Sister Italia contest.

It would run online at first, but he hoped that it would become a "real pageant" along the lines of the annual Miss Italy contest. No bathing suits though, or snaps of the contestants draped over rocks hugging a beach ball or frolicking in the surf. Father Rungi, a moral theologian with his own blog, said that the nuns would not wear swimsuits or revealing outfits.

What he valued most in a woman was "inner beauty". Asked for his feminine ideal, he replied: "Well, I would say Sophia Loren."

Mmm, now there’s a woman who is more famous for her out-there assets than her inner beauty I would say ... when she played a nun in the 1972 movie White Sister, she was anything but au naturel and I’m surprised the panstick make-up didn’t stain her wimple.

Anyway, the well-meaning padre received criticism galore for his idea and has now scrapped the pageant. Among his flood of abusive emails was a writer who The Times reported, he said, “told me I would end up in Hell".

Perhaps it’s just as well. Rungi also would have put a age ceiling on the contest of 40 – but if you’re looking for inner beauty, why should you be less beautiful when the face is less smooth and the hair going grey?

Pity, though, I should have liked to have nominated our own Eastern Cape’s Sister Ethel of Missionvale Care Centre .. now that’s my idea of a truly beautiful woman, both inside and out.

1 comments:
sam said...
yes, you make a really valid point. It's hard to imagine how Mother Theresa would have fared in such a pageant, she was certainly no oil painting based on the criteria used in most contests, but it would be hard to beat her inner beauty. Clearly the misguided man has missed the whole point of becoming a nun, glad he has dropped the idea! (But then, maybe he knew all along that it was a non-flyer and just did it because he knew he'd get a ton of publicity, which, of course, he did!)
September 28, 2008 1:35 AM